Updated: May 19
If you are a highly sensitive, empathic, generous, selfless, and kind person, you may have had difficulties setting healthy boundaries to take care of your-Self.
This happens because although empathy and conscientiousness are gifts which contribute to emotional intelligence, they can occasionally result in softer areas in placed boundaries.
Also, if you have experienced neglectful, dangerous, or abusive situations while growing up, your only source of safety and protection became simultaneously the source of immediate danger, leaving you caught between two conflicting sets of instincts, because you had to depend on untrustworthy adults to survive.
If this was your case, you may have learned, in a nonverbal way, that relationships are both helpful and dangerous, and you may have had to adjust with a boundary style that fits such a paradox.
This means developing weaker boundaries and more tolerance for mistreatment, since it’s always been that way.
The reactions your body and brain have to trauma also translate into how you experience relationship boundary patterns:
You either fight and become self-absorbed, you flight and develop emotional and social isolation patterns, you freeze and develop impulsiveness, you fawn and turn self-critical about having needs, or you attach and turn emotionally needy –for some, one particular pattern may be clearly predominant, while some may switch between styles, according to the situation.
Today, I would like you to consider that healthier boundaries are possible.
You can trust your body: your gut can help you know your limits.
Also, practicing saying these 5 things in front of a mirror, or with people you feel safe with first, can be a good way to get used to using them regularly.
Sensitivity is a deeply human quality. It is a gift. It means strong. Don’t hide away or belittle you. The world needs you (very much). Learn how to stand up for your-Self and take care of your-Self instead, so you can shine your light fully.
You are not alone. I am here for you.
~ L .