How many times have you answered “I’m fine” and actually meant it?
To choose denial, withdrawal, and self-isolation when something is not fine are common when feeling deep emotional pain.
That silence speaks volumes. And it usually means “I’m not going to risk hurting deeper”.
Becoming restless, utterly busy, and either loosing appetite or eating mindlessly are also signs that something is going on emotionally.
Feeling your pain doesn’t mean you are “childish” or “too sensitive”. It means you are human.
In a culture where not showing vulnerability is a sign of strength, I would like to remind you mainly all reasons for hiding your emotions –sometimes even from your-Self– are fear-based; whereas sitting with your pain and exploring your vulnerability to be able to communicate with those around you in an assertive way is a very courageous decision.
Part of setting adequate boundaries has to do with knowing how you feel and letting others know what contributes to your wellbeing and peace of mind.
To do this, you need to sit with your pain long enough to gain insight about your strengths, and develop the ability to self-soothe and self-validate your emotions in the absence of external reassurance and comforting.
This can make you hold emotional ground to feel safe expressing your emotions, which are an essential part of who you are, confident that you can feel safe while expressing your pain independent of the other person’s response to it.
Allowing your-Self to be vulnerable around those who love you and care for you, involves letting go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are, which is essential for connection.
You are unique. That is your power.
I am here for you.
~ L, 🌻.