Are you slowing down enough to feel what is happening inside you? We all long for safe, deep, meaningful connections with others. So what does it take to grow warm, fulfilling relationships?
Even though we may be attracted to people based on an image that is being projected –being beautiful, successful, or interesting– it does not offer the intimacy we long for, so it doesn’t stand the test of time, which allows us to see the fears, hurts, and challenges initially concealed. Even though we are all fighting some battle others know nothing about, intimacy is about sharing our truth with others. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable enough to show our ever-changing colors with those around us is what creates real bonding. And to share our truth with others, to allow others to see us how we really are, we first need to know who we are. And to do that, we need to know how we feel –really. If you have grown up with emotional neglect trauma, you may have learned that your feelings are irrelevant and burdensome and you may have not learned some important skills, such as how to name your feelings, put them into words, and how to manage or share them. ⭐️ Your emotions are the essence of who you are –that’s how important they are. So running your life in automatic pilot, living just to comply with responsibilities, even spiritual bypassing (something I’ve seen lately in people coming to work with me) to avoid feeling your uncomfortable truths, does not bring about the courage needed to sit with your pain, listen to it, and develop awareness. Anger, sadness, shame, guilt, fear… we all feel them sometimes. We are not weak for having emotions or for needing a hug. We have the capacity to identify and manage our emotional world and when we do this, we can meet others through empathy and create intimacy. Feeling our emotions with kindness and acceptance is a key to growth; and also, if others don’t get you, it is still ok, because you can honor and validate your emotions, you can be there for yourself. ~ L, 💕