Updated: Jun 13, 2020
Hola, everybody ~
How have you been? What changes have you undergone thanks to the pandemic? –yes, even if you're going through a very difficult time right now, there is also something good developing inside of you.
In the past, I remember telling my patients and students "life is never going to stop for you to have additional time for yourself, process your pain, and integrate the lessons life is reminding you of; you have to make that time for you now."
Well, guess what? Never say never. The pandemic due to Covid-19 proved me wrong, big time: the world did stop. Literally.
So, how have you invested this time?
I've invested it in finally enjoying a halt with regards to the outer world –which didn't include resting, rather switching my focus from the outside to the inside. I think the pandemic brought a very much needed pause, for everyone, even Mother Earth. I've spent this time focusing inside, listening to my needs, and nurturing myself –I even went back to home-cooking. And this has been so uplifting! So much has happened these months inside of me, and being a caring, conscious witness to my inner processes has made me fall in love with myself all over again.
From that perspective, that self-awareness, self-care, self-love, the love I've been able to pour during my work with my patients and students, has also been something beautiful to witness.
What about you?
Have you ever felt like everything in your life falls into place, and this gives you a new perspective of things? Have you ever felt complete and blissful? Have you ever felt like everything you've experienced up to this moment, the good and the difficult, was happening in perfect order, for your highest good, so you can be here and now exactly the way you are, so you can show up in your unique way, right in time?
These realizations have been part of my inner process. I thank the global halt resulting from this pandemic, I've enjoyed so much listening to my inner dreams, taking good care of myself, and spending time doing the things I love –like my work... It has been amazing to feel safe, supported, and deeply loved during this process every day of these past few months... by me. I took care of myself. I put myself first. I made sure I was safe, and nurtured, and loved. And yeah, I baked a little, without counting the calories vs the exercise because I just love baking and feeding my body with nurturing, yummy food. And I also chose which news to read, whose messages to answer, and at what time was best for me to go to sleep. I made time for my cat –who I think is also grateful to the pandemic because I learnt how to massage him in a way he likes. And I also made time for my plants and flowers –yep, I got flowers: once every two weeks I just sit with a new bunch of flowers and create arrangements for as many corners as I can think of at my place, including my healing room and my desk.
I loved this time with myself, I loved offering love to myself, and my plan is to keep it up after the pandemic sorts itself out.
Listening to myself, also led me to understand a lot. It is like an inner total understanding, not a segmented or partial understanding, like what happens when we read something but never really take it to our daily lives. I notice the difference in many ways, ie previously I would show up from Alternative Medicines, ie Homeopathy, or Psychotherapy, or NLP, or Shamanism, in an either-or-way (which was ok, experiencing separation teaches so much!), and now I'm showing up from my unique understanding, my unique expression of whatever these mean to me. I believe loving myself in a focused, aware manner, for so many days in a row, has led me to some deep integration that has allowed me to wake up to All That Is from my unique I Am, and function from and integrated standpoint. Such a humbling experience! I Am Me, and it is fine. I don't need to be anything or anyone else. Nor do you.
The past few months have been very challenging for me: the death of my closest loved ones; the death of a beloved friend; the end of a relationship, lots of serious, legal decisions and paperwork; revaluing, decluttering, and updating the mechanics in my work from the inside out, rock-solid grounding a broader work vision, redoing my life plans for the future... the list goes on and on... it feels like years have gone by, instead of months... and I am here, and I am fine (actually, better than ever before), and I am strong: I am whole.
I remember telling myself, when the lockdown started: I am the cockroach that will survive the nuclear bomb, I will make it perfectly fine through this pandemic. And I stood to my word, I kept the promise I made to myself, I did it.
Have you ever felt like you're done with the chrysalis and suddenly realized that you've already become the butterfly you were always meant to be? And you realize this while you're actually flying?
Shifting. I guess that is how I can reply to those asking me how have I been, why long time no talk. I've been sifting and shifting. For good.
And now, I'm ready. Like never before. Let me show you:
If you review my website now, you'll notice I've decluttered and updated some of the information shown, to make it easier for you to navigate it, and find what you are looking for. I believe you will relate with mostly all of it. If it is the case for you, you are the one I've been preparing myself for: I'm here for and because of you.
In the following weeks, I will be sharing bits and pieces of my journey with you here, sincerely hoping these experiences prove useful for your journey.
I must have been hatching this for a while, in the back of my mind, as my Instagram posts were getting longer, and longer, maybe even too long for that format. I've never really liked blogs, and I really enjoy IG because it serves as an outlet for my creativity and it helps me connect with you. I know I am a writer and I know I'm on my way to writing my first book, so blogs for me were a waste of time, or not serious enough, or plainly uninteresting. IG is more fun. But now I can't stop writing! And I want to share my thoughts with you, because I believe they can be useful for you. So what is the best way to share them with you now?
As I just told you, never say never: welcome to my new blog –yep, I finally fell for it. I will keep on posting to IG, but because I can't stop writing, I think I will write here what I'd like to share with you, and then upload a preview to IG, with a link to the full idea, so you can keep on reading it here if you and when you have the time. I might do the same with my Personal Missives, delivered weekly to your inbox, which were also getting quite long lately.
Feel free to look around, share, and/or leave your comments and suggestions below. I will read you and reply to the best of my abilities.
Because there is no time like this precise moment,
~ Luciana xo.