spiritual wisdom straight from Spirit!
How would life be for you if you hadn't lost your natural connection to everything around you?
When I turned 40, several events took place, one after another, as I walked the streets of Sacred Valley in Cusco. It was my time to remember everything around us is alive because it is all comprised of Spirit –maybe that is what some people call "awakening"?
But I didn't know anything about it the day I introduced the Canadian-French guy I was dating to my Mom. That day, she sat him in the living room, and told him: “When she was little, she came running to my room once, very upset, because my dad had brought her the wrong Barbie from Houston, it had the wrong dress. I told her he wouldn’t arrive until the following week and sent her back to her room. I then called my mom to tell her what had happened, she said that he had just arrived –you guessed right, with the wrong Barbie." I was in my 20s. I felt really ashamed by the whole situation: my Mom telling him that story, and the story itself; I didn't want him to think I was crazy or that I had a crazy family.
In time I understood how hard it must have been for her to raise me.
One time, she told me I could no longer be friends with my best friend at school, because she thought it was not an appropriate relationship for me –Mom was like a hen when it came to protecting her children. I was so upset when she said that... I can still remember the anger coming deep from within and screaming “No!” while my gold glasses and hematite bracelet shattered into a thousand pieces that were propelled into the air –when I was upset about something, mechanical things would stop working, until either I calmed down or left the room, but shattering hard things was a whole new level of “crazy”.
Luckily, growing up, I had a best friend nobody knew about. She’s been my Guide since I can remember, but I didn't know what Guides were back then, I just knew there was "someone" and that made me feel safe and accompanied. It was in my 30s that I got acquainted with the term and eventually asked her for her name. I call her “C”.
As a child, we would play games together. Whenever I had a hard time falling asleep because my parents were out, she would teach me how to rotate the lamp hanging from the ceiling in a rhythmical turn while I stared at it from my bed: all the way to the left, then all the way to the right… I remember telling her I wanted to learn English to become as fluent as my parents, but I didn’t have someone to practice with, so we agreed to make English our main language.
At school, things were complicated. I attended a Catholic school, with nuns, which I liked because I have always been very spiritual and loved Jesus's teachings, so that was the good part –I remember a friend of my Mom asking me once "what would you like to be when you grow up?" and her perplexed face when I answered "an angel". The difficult part were the students who would constantly ask me to either put my finger on the Ouija board so it would start moving, or give them a tarot spread, or just answer their questions with "yes" or "no" during the bus ride back from school; all of this while laughing behind my back after getting what they wanted, and telling each other how “witchy” or “crazy” I was.
Even though my Mom would tell me to stop answering their requests –while teaching me how to protect myself energetically–, I kept at it for years because deep down I wanted to feel normal and accepted.
I remember the time when a friend from school called, very distressed, and my Mom answered. I had visited her during the weekend. I was happy to be invited, especially because she had a pool, like in my house, and I loved swimming in pools. Unfortunately, my friend's plans were not to spend the afternoon in the pool. She asked me to take out the tarot deck she asked me to bring with me, and offer her a reading. We were probably 12 years old, so I had no idea how to really use a tarot deck, but whenever I opened a spread, little holograms –like Princess Leia's message on R2D2– would show up on top them and I would say out loud what I was seeing. It was actually fun, because for me it was like telling a story, but for those listening sometimes it could be upsetting. Such was the case of my friend that day. My Mom passed me over the phone and before I could ask how she was doing, she started crying and shouting. I tried to remember what had I told her "you and your mom are going to be upset about something, because of a man, he is going to do something that is going to make you very sad." It hadn't meant much to her at the moment. I tried to understand what she was saying beneath all the crying and shouting: "you are a witch! You did something! My dad just left us! How could you do that to me and my mom? Undo whatever witchcraft you've done and bring him back! Bring him back!". I tried to explain to her that I hadn't done anything, I had only told her what I saw. It was useless. She hated me. When I finally hung up, my Mom was upset at me. That was the last time I ever touched a tarot deck in front of people.
The first time I actually “heard” my Guide, was with a group of friends at Friday’s. I was talking with a friend from school when a very good looking guy in crotches approached our table. I was told he had just arrived from Spain, he seemed to be friends with the group. As soon as he sat besides me, a seat in front of us opened up and I “knew” I had to move there to get away from the guy. But I didn’t. I then heard (for real) a female voice shouting “run!”. I almost changed seats, as I could feel her urge… but then I was curious: why would someone –I was in my 20s, so I didn't know she was my Guide yet– make such an effort to make sure I moved away from the good-looking guy? The Canadian-French guy and I had just broken up after dating for about a month, so I wasn’t doing anything wrong by sitting next to him… I stayed. Many years later, when I finally managed to break up with him, thanks to the arrival of my beautiful black cat Balthazar –we were a couple for 5 years– I understood why she was so adamant about me not walking down that path with him.
Even though this is how I grew up, it was not until I was in my 30s that I met someone who told me “you’re a medium”. I didn’t quite understand him though, for I had heard about psychics, but not about mediums —I thought mediums were weird women with scarves on their heads offering fake séances in round tables, having dead people speak through them, while everyone was holding hands and hiding how scared they really were. But, even though what he said was not really clear to me, something about his words resonated inside, and I immediately started crying because I felt seen. For the first time ever, someone knew. And he was ok with it.
Even more important for me at the time: I realized I was the different one! I had spent all those years wondering why everybody acted in such a weird way… it was because nobody could “see” what I saw. Duh!
Several readings and years later, we became friends, because he was the only person I knew who could see and speak "truth". So, besides my Guide, he became an important referent in my life. “You can astral travel, you can have Spirit talk through you, you have so many gifts sitting there, waiting for the right time…” Even though it has been more than 10 years since we first met, all of his words and the wisdom in them still resonate in my heart like a North Star.
He was so right. It took time.
When I was about 19, starting to climb the corporate ladder, I would receive a fax (yes, I’m that old) and immediately know which purchase orders would present problems and which kind of problems they would be. I would tell each account manager about it, but of course, they wouldn’t listen, so we would eventually have to deal with the problems anyways.
By 2016 I had already switched from my corporate job to my path of a healer. I had just finished my career on Alternative System of Medicines (India) when I accidentally (synchronistically) ended up meeting a guy in Ollantaytambo who told me that for his 40th birthday he had decided to climb a small mountain nearby and meditate at the top, to begin his Solar Return with great energy. It had been a special mountain where Inca Priestesses made rituals at the time of the Inca Empire. On my 40th birthday, he gave me some coca leaves as a birthday present to use as an offering, and sent me on my way. So, off I went, to climb the small mountain for my birthday.
“We have been waiting for you” –a female voice said, as part of a group of very excited voices who were talking to each other, while I was climbing the mountain. I turned to see who these voices belonged to but there was nobody else there. Of course I freaked out and started heading down as fast as I could. While at this, the voice kept talking to me, showing me visions of what was about to happen in my life.
After leaving the mountain, I went to look for a friend who at that time worked with his father visiting ruins and cultural sites all over Cusco. “The mountain has spoken to you” –he explained. What was he talking about? What did he mean? Could mountains speak?
Not too long after that, I was walking down a street, heading back home because the US guy I was dating was busy and couldn’t make it to our date, when I accidentally (synchronically?) found a store that was usually closed, open. The US guy called it “Magic Store” and was always complaining about it being always closed. "What needs to happen for it to be open?" I remember him saying once, with frustration. Being curious as I am, I went inside. There were so many fun things: magic wands, potions, new age books, crystals… A girl was attending that day, I greeted her politely and went to the next room, where astrology symbols where painted on the roof, a chair with a copper string for cleansing had been placed in a corner… I decided to come back some other time with the US guy, because it seemed unfair to enter the store he always wanted to show me, without him. I was about to leave when my Guide told me “tell her she is going to have a child very soon” –she meant the girl attending. I didn’t want to, because how was I supposed to say that to a total stranger? So I said good-bye to her instead and left. As soon as I went out the door, I felt my Guide standing in front of me, so I didn’t have much of a choice. I went back in and talked to the girl. Three months later, she sent me a DM on Facebook: “so, that baby you mentioned… well… how did you know?” ––she was pregnant.
After I told her about the baby, she invited me over for tea –I love tea, that is something I never say no to, so we headed back to her place. Someone carrying a backpack arrived as she was brewing the herbs. She introduced him as a Sound Healer from Israel (and me as someone who had just foretold her about a baby). I had studied Sound Healing in the career, but I had never met an actual Sound Healer before, so I booked a session with him for the next day.
As I laid in the table, I felt my guide standing behind me, working “with” him. That was the first time I had seen her working with someone other than me. Now I was curious. Just as I realized that, he said “your Guide is standing here with me” to what I answered “yes, she is behind me, to my right.” Now he was curious. The session ended without him doing any Sound Healing on me, which was what I had wanted to witness, so I booked another session for the next day.
There I was, in a different room than the first time, standing in front of him, with my eyes closed. Suddenly, a very cold breeze came in through my left side, where I had seen a window. I tried to concentrate on what he was doing, but the breeze was really cold. Even though winter had already passed, we were in the middle of the Andes, the belly of the world, so I tried to relax in spite of the cold. The first thing I said to him as the session ended and I opened my eyes, was “next time make sure you close the window before you start working with someone, I’m frozen”. He turned to look at the window and my eyes followed his. “The window is closed” he said, and added “I invoked the Wind of the South, it seems like it worked”.
Some days later, he sent me a DM on Facebook saying he'd had a dream where we were visiting a shaman. I explained to him I was traveling back to Lima, where I lived, because my cat was sick. As he was dying at the vet, he showed me a picture of me taking him in my backpack up a mountain. I was too sad to realize we were communicating. It was only when I was taking his ashes out of my backpack to clear customs on my way back to Cusco, that I realized he was right, I was going to take him in my backpack up a mountain –I thought he meant my aunt's house in Sacred Valley, which is high up in a mountain.
Back in Cusco, I ended up contacting the Israeli healer and we went to look for his shaman. He said that according to his dream, we had to climb a mountain. It was interesting because when I was his age, instead of going dancing with my friends I would travel outside of Lima just to climb mountains or be in Nature. Halfway through, I was already tired, so I sat on a rock to rest, who startled me by saying (yes, the rock) “that is why you have such strong legs…” I was so scared that I immediately stood up and went to look for the Israeli guy who had kept going up, steadily. When I was able to reach him, he gave me some coca leaves to “clear away the Ucha” –according to his training as a P’aqo, it helped to clear away the negativity and bad vibes from the body. But as I did what he said, I heard the coca leaf say “you don’t need this mask anymore” and I felt a peel come off of my face. Confused and tired, I asked him how much more were we to walk. He said we were actually looking for the Spirit of a shaman, not a real shaman. So I sat, very tired and upset at that point, because I had thought we were looking for a person (how was I supposed to think otherwise?), and asked him to bring him to us because I was too tired to keep climbing if we were not going to meet an actual person. As I sat to meditate and held his hands in concentration… I visualized an Inca coming down from the mountain to take me up to the top where there was an entrance to a cave. Once inside, I was surrounded by a circle of fire and other Incas showed up, each with an animal. To my right, at a distance, I could see my Guide and my cat, beaming with joy, because they made it, they got me there as “chartered.”
The Israeli healer then introduced me to his teacher in the Q’ero tradition and I started their initiations to become a Ñusta –in their tradition, P'aqos represent the Masculine and Ñustas the Feminine. After we came back from climbing the first glacier where I got the first two initiations, I was exhausted, so when the alarm went on to wake me up to go to the next glacier for the next set of initiations, I turned it off, half-asleep. “You didn’t come here to sleep” said an old male voice I recognized as being the first mountain. Scared, I jumped off the bed and into the shower.
It was all so very difficult. I went back to Lima to visit my Grandma and promised my-Self not to go back to Cusco again –I was no longer dating the US guy, so I had no reason to return. My aunt and the Israeli healer –who was now in Chile learning from a Mapuche– said I had to finish what I had started. As I was walking on a nearby park, many little butterflies showed up, flying in circles around me. It was difficult to walk like that, so I sat in the grass to think what I should do. I heard Earth (Pachamama in Quechua) talking to me, with a beautiful, strong, female voice: “come back”.
A year after that, I started offering retreats in Sacred Valley. I was planning a big one, where the Israeli healer would travel back from Israel to Cusco and join as co-host. I had spent 3 days inside my aunt's house in Urubamba, just planning everything about the retreat on the computer. Every day, I would see two big dragonflies outside the window –I’m very grounded and focused when I work. On day 4, I stopped what I was doing, and went out to enjoy a little sun and fresh air. The dragonflies immediately showed up and started flying besides me. One of them spoke: “don’t forget to play.”
Fast forward to today, when my Grandma died, she came to visit my Mom and I conveyed her message to her. I then saw my family gathered around her coffin (all "dead") while I prayed. Weeks later, my Mom passed, and I saw her leaving her body (she seemed so relieved!), again with all the family (including my Grandma) waiting for her. So yes, crossing back requires us to leave our body behind, but it in no way means an ending.
These and many other “crazy” things are how my life unfolds, naturally. It seems like I walk with one foot on this Earthly plane and one on many other planes (my Guide's plane, the Apus –Sacred Mountains– plane, and the Other Side), at the same time.
I am currently writing a book about what happened in Cusco and how I ended up becoming a Ñusta in the Q’ero Andean tradition. If you would like to be in the know of everything related to my publishing of the book when the time comes, you can register for my newsletter, here:
Subscribe to my Personal Missives (newsletters) while the Book comes out.
Also, I recently decided to offer short Readings to those who feel the call to listen to what Spirit has to tell them. They are around 30-minute long Readings, depending of Spirit’s message. I cannot tell you exactly who will show up, if anyone –once I had the Spirit of a butterfly offering a message, which happened to be my client's Power Animal), or what will happen beforehand, as I act only as a vessel (like a radio antenna). I sit, I "listen", and I translate what I receive. I am scheduling 1 day a week in my agenda to just open up and allow whatever comes in to flow for those who book a Reading with me.
The other day, I attended a cheese and wine invitation where I met someone who asked me “and you have never been wrong? Have you ever tried and nothing happened?” I think that is when I knew I was ready to share these lines with you, because it is who I am, not what I do –I think he realized this too, when I told him about his mother (though alive, her Spirit was standing next to him) and how the blockage in their relationship was affecting his personal and commercial relationships. You see, maybe because I'm a healer, what I "get from Spirit" is more like a "diagnosis", what each person needs to work on to lift the blockages hindering health and happiness in their lives.
Because of my unfortunate past experiences, I don't think I should start by offering these Readings to my patients, because I know them a lot already, so my comments could be taken as biased, and I don't want to affect their processes with some kind of confusion. This is why my Readings are only open for those of you who are not already working with me as my patients.
If this kind of communication with Spirit resonates with you, because your life seems to be upside down, or because you are unclear or confused about which road to take –I think that what I get is more like "guidance" than the ability to foretell the future, which by the way I believe is a wide range of opportunities, not something set on stone– you may want to:
And last but not least, I am offering an all-inclusive retreat in Sacred Valley for 12 people who would like to heal the trauma inherited through their ancestral lineage. I have a strong 13-year corporate background plus a wide 15-year clinical background, which are the basis of my work with people... to which I am now planning to integrate this “crazy” side and see what happens, especially once my first book is out… so the retreat includes a therapeutic workshop using psychotherapy and counseling tools I learned while studying my Alternative System of Medicines career… and of course, if your ancestors (alive in Spirit or alive on Earth) come in, I will consider their suggestions and pass on their messages to you if they share any, so you can receive their support and wisdom for your Trauma Healing journey.
One more thing... the Israeli healer in my book is coming to join this retreat midway, after 6 long years (synchronically?) of not working together, to offer complementary journeys including sound healing, blindfold walking, and dreamwork as part of the retreat. We will be joining forces for you, along with a friend from Brasil who cooks amazingly and offers yin yoga and Thai massage, so you can have a deep, healing experience.
Also, we will be visiting Machu Picchu, one of the Apus in my book, to ask for healing, guidance, and protection.
If this resonates with you, it is a life-changing opportunity that doesn't come often, you will not want to miss it.
This is a private link, currently hidden in my website, only available to specific people. I will reveal this part of my work once the book comes out, because I don’t want to spoil its launch –I've been working on it for several years now, it's almost ready.
So, if you are reading this, it may be because:
a. You may have shown interest in my Book or in my Cusco path when I was training to become a Ñusta.
b. You may have shown interest in my Spirit Talks work before the first book is launched.
c. You may have requested a Reading because someone told you about me.
d. You may have shown interest in my upcoming retreat.
If any of these is the case, welcome! Can’t wait to share with you!
In the meantime, I’m only showcasing my clinical and health coaching services, along with a little of my shamanic services, on this webpage. So I trust you will not share this “secret” link before the book comes out, unless we’ve agreed you’ll do so with someone other than my patients beforehand.
Ansaluia ~ Namaste.